Things to tell my daughter or maybe things I wish I’d known
A not-terribly original list of advice for Violet when she is older.
The last 17 months have been pretty hard, but I have decided to try and look on the bright side and see it as an opportunity to give my daughter some advice. Not all of this is related to our recent experience, but rather things I've picked up along the way. Some are things I wish I'd done differently (money). Some are from seeing friends succeed or have difficulties on rare occasions.
A note to my daughter - these are based on your dad's experience, so they are probably male-focused and may be dated. Who knows, everything may be easier in the future!
A note to any random readers, especially those who remember the 90s - I realise this is basically a boring version of Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen.
- Buy a flat or house as soon as possible, preferably one with at least two bedrooms
- Have babies early - if possible before 30, it's just easier on the knees
- Work very hard at school
- Play a sport, not for health but the social side
- Watch sport
- Get into music - again, because of the social side
- Travel, but don't obsess about it
- Learn to drive early at 17; I wish I had, as it opens opportunities
- Stay fit. It's easier to stay fit than get fit. Also, it's unfair, but people like fit people more
- Keep hold of friends, work at it, and don't let people drift away
- Decide on a career early and go for it; unfortunately, our family isn't wealthy, so go for something traditional and safe. I am sorry the idea of following your passion is, on many occasions, silly (ranty post to follow)
- Drugs - be careful at parties, maybe smoke a tiny bit of weed but don't do anything else. It always ends badly. To be honest, I'd stay away from it entirely
- Drink - again, a couple of glasses of wine can be nice but don't drink too much - sorry, this is especially true for girls, I know it's not fair, but it's true
- Art and culture - start reading serious books early. It is a good basis. Daddy reads too many silly books about zombies
- Get a hobby, something you love. Not something for a career, because it's cool, or because mummy and daddy would approve. But something you enjoy. It can be nerdy. You can always keep it secret
- Don't obsess about weight, but try not to be fat. Again not fair but slim people seem to have more fun and do better
- Don't be mean but also don't be too soft
- Learn a second language - Afraid this might not be an option anyway, as Mum has already found two Chinese schools, I suspect shouting I'm half white isn't going to get you out of learning Cantonese.
- Save money right from the start
- Start a pension really, really early
- Race - daddy won't be able to help much. But you'll need to embrace your own mixed race. We will do our best.
